Harry Potter and the Descent Into Madness
by DarkQuartz
Summary: What if Harry Potter decided to learn to be an Animagus? What if it went wrong? The reason most witches and wizards don't obtain a form is because it is time consuming with a high risk after all. Takes place in book 5. **Abandoned**


Disclaimer: I don't own harry potter.

* * *

Ron, Hermione, and Harry walked down into the dungeon corridors together with Ron and Hermione slightly in the lead and Harry a couple steps behind them. "I've been looking through the books in the library, Ron, and you know why!" Hermione told her boyfriend once again, the sharpness of her voice echoing down the stone hallway. Harry had heard this conversation several times now so his mind began to wander.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean we can't spend time together," Ron grumbled. "We're supposed to be dating, but we haven't done anything together lately!"

The year had been rough so far for Harry Potter. First there was the tournament with Cedric's death that was so terrible that it replaced the memories of his parents' death when the dementors had attacked him and Dudley in the shortcut alleyway between Magnolia Crescent and Wisteria Walk. Then there was the full Wizengamot trial for underage magic where the Ministry of Magic tried him as an adult. Finally there was Umbridge, her blood quill, and all of her educational decrees.

"Well, your ideas of practicing quidditch together won't work," she hissed to the red head in a quieter voice since they were getting closer to the classroom. "You know I hate flying."

He rubbed the scar on the back of his hand absently while he reflected bitterly and catches the worried glance that Ron and Hermione exchanges which doesn't help his mood.

"Well, what about-" Ron began, but he was cut off when Hermione nudged his ribs with an elbow when she glanced back at Harry.

"Harry, I think I've solved one of our problems," Hermione said in an effort to cheer up her best friend. Both her and Ron had noticed how Harry's moods had been going up and down this school term; it took talking about their new ideas for the DA in order to get him out of whatever his thoughts were. Seeing Harry like this just frustrated her though Ron kept saying not to worry about it. She really liked her boyfriend, but he was so dim at times! Harry's pensive expressions lately were not like when he'd get depressed in the past, she thought. No, lately it seems to be much deeper. If only he would talk, but every time she asked he would say he was fine and she finally had to stop when he started to get really irritated. Ron figured Harry was still upset over Umbridge and how she wouldn't let the Gryffindor team get back together.

Harry gave her a short nod and forced a smile before gesturing to door for her and Ron to enter Snape's class. "We'll talk about it tonight," he said to her quietly as he follows behind them as they head for their usual seat. He knew she was worried so he worked to school his expression to something more normal and shoved all his thoughts to the side.

The office door banged open a moment later which caused all chatter to stop when the intimidating potion teacher swooped into his class with his robes billowing. "Your assignment is on the board. Get to work and no talking," he said in his quiet voice before beginning his normal stalk of the classroom to search for reasons to take points.

Harry sighed quietly and headed for the ingredients cupboard to get the things he needed then headed back to his seat with Ron and Hermione following in suit. The dim classroom with the simmering vapors, the sounds of cutting crushing, and grinding, and the glare of the teacher made Harry's thoughts go back to brooding once again. When he caught Hermione's worried glance this time, though, it just annoyed him so he bent over his assignment to work on it harder.

Then there was how they treated him over the summer. They kept him in the dark on Dumbledore's orders, even Sirius who never obeyed the rules! He clenched his jaws while mincing his mandrake root and hunched a little more over his task. Hermione apologized, sure, but Ron didn't. Ron let her do all the talking and ever since then he had acted like nothing happened. Harry was tired of the people around him telling him what to do and leaving him in the dark like he was a kid. HE was the one who had to watch Cedric die not even a couple meters from him before being forced to undergo a ritual to bring Voldemort back!

"Twenty points from Gryffindor and a three foot essay from you, Potter," said Snape's voice from behind him when he dumped his mandrake roots in, interrupting his thoughts. He was about to open his mouth to voice the injustice of it when the contents in the cauldron turned into a malevolent purple hue and began to flow over. Professor Snape smirked as he flicked his wand to banish the contents. "And an additional ten points for not completing the assignment," he added before turning with a sweep of his cloak to look for the next unfortunate victim.

"That slimy git," Ron grumbled under his breath making Hermione shush him quietly. She gave Harry a sympathetic look which he ignored as he sat there with his fists clenched on the desk so he could suppress his trembling anger.

Unable to sit there a minute longer without hexing Snape which would only land him in detention, Harry stuffed his books into his bag. "I'm going to the library to start on my essay," he mumbled to Hermione before leaving the class.

* * *

Harry didn't go to the library. As soon as he turned the corner from the potion's classroom, he pulled out the map, checked it over to make sure nobody was around, then put on his invisibility cloak and went straight to the seventh floor for the room of requirements. Pacing quickly in front of the empty wall across from the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy who was trying to teach trolls ballet, he barely let the door form before entering the room that he, Hermione, and Ron had made for the DA a week prior for the first meeting. He threw his book bag to the floor with a sigh then flopped to lie down on the cushions.

Why did Snape hate him so much?! Ever since the first potion's class, Snape had always singled him out. Even after finding out he was in the Order, though, nothing had changed; the man seemed to hate him as much as ever and worked to make his life as hard as possible.

He was also getting very tired of how much hovering Hermione had been doing lately though that wasn't as bad as Ron pretending like nothing at all was wrong except for the quidditch team being disbanded. The only thing that had been putting him into a good mood lately was circumventing Umbridge and the Ministry's idiotic educational decrees.

Harry glanced at all the books on the bookshelves along the walls and took a deep breath to calm down. "Might as well take a look," he said out loud and got up to start looking over the titles. "Wonder where they came from, though. _'Blood Magic Wards_?' That sounds dark."

Harry pulled that one out while wondering why it was there and opened it up to look at the table of contents. House wards, ghost protection, stasis ward, Animagus ward...

He stopped at the last one with a blink then grinned as a thought came to mind. His dad started working on an animagus form in his fifth year. If he could work on one himself, too, then he could possibly turn into an animal as well, and that would give him the ability to be free during the summers. Who knows what more he could do as well once he found his form. He put the book away and started scanning the book titles to see if he could come across what he was looking for.

"Animal Magus Training," Harry said out loud as he carefully pulled out a slim but older looking tome. Half the books in the shelves looked like they were older so that wasn't anything unusual. What was unusual was when he opened the book, the inside cover of it read " _To William Sayre, my son. May you follow in my footsteps. Your loving mother, Morrigan_."

Harry furrowed his brows in thought for a moment then shook his head when he couldn't figure out the names. Maybe Hermione would know... He pursed his lips in irritation and shook his head again, though this time is was in anger. No, he'll keep this discovery to himself. He didn't want her to hover around him while he worked on this or talk about how bad it would be to become an illegal animagus and try to badger him to register with the Ministry. Sure, she was willing to break the rules for the DA, but that was only because Umbridge was interrupting with her studies during the OWL year.

His mind made up, he moved to sit back on a cushion and started his reading.

* * *

"He's not in the library, and Madam Pince said he hadn't been there at all today," Hermione said worriedly to Ron as she pulled him away from his solo game at the chess table. "And he's not here in the common rooms! Did you see him when you went upstairs to put away your bag?"

"No," Ron said as he shrugged off her hand while swallowing down his irritation. "What does it matter anyway? You know he goes off to be by himself when he gets all sulky. Remember last year when he thought everyone hated him because his name was drawn from the goblet?"

Hermione frowned angrily at Ron. " _That's because everyone, including you, thought he put his name into the goblet_ ," she hissed to him. "He needs us to stand by his side right now! I'm telling you, Ron-"

"No!" Ron replied heatedly back, his face starting to turn a splotchy red with anger. "You've been doing nothing but going on about Harry these past few weeks, ever since your idea of putting together the DA. You haven't been spending any time at all with me!"

The Gryffindor common room grew quiet to stare at the couple when Ron's voice got louder at the last sentence, everyone straining to listen in to the argument. Hermione gaped at Ron for a moment then shook her head and pursed her lips. That expression resembled McGonagall, Ron thought while suppressing a shudder at the thought.

" _Fine_ ," she snapped at him as she folded her arms across her chest. "This is our OWL year, Ron. We have to take our studies seriously! These test results tell us what classes we can take on for NEWTS which will dictate what careers we will have later in life!" In a lower voice, she added "And Harry is our best friend. I still feel bad that we left him alone this summer. You know he's acting weird this year!"

Ron deflated for a moment at the reminder that they had abandoned Harry then he gave her a sullen nod. "Fine," he grumbled as the other Gryffindors resumed doing what they were doing before, figuring the couple's argument was done. "But I really think that you're wrong about him not being over about that. This is Harry we're talking about! He doesn't dwell on things like that for long."

Hermione moved in to give Ron a hug and sighed softly. "That's what I mean, Ron. Normal people would dwell on this, but he doesn't give a sign that he is. I think he just buries it. I think he needs to see a psychiatrist or something..."

"What's a sicko-trist?" Ron asked while hugging her back.

Hermione was about to explain when they both heard the portrait door swing open. They turned to see Harry entering, and he raised an eyebrow at how they were holding each other right in the middle of the common room. Hermione extracted herself from the hug to run over to Harry and Ron gritted his teeth at the interruption before following after her at a more sedate pace.

"Harry! Where were you? I was worried about you!" Hermione exclaimed then realized her mistake when his lips twitched with irritation. She quickly changed her tactic and hoped he didn't notice. "I have something to show you, remember? I couldn't find you in the library and you weren't at dinner either."

"Hey mate," Ron greeted at the end of Hermione's lecture, rolling his eyes behind her back. "Told her you'd be here and there was nothing to worry about."

Harry had forgotten that Hermione had mentioned that she had solved one of the problems with the meetings. He had actually been wondering how he was going to hold a mandrake leaf in his mouth for a whole month while attending classes and have nobody catch on to it. The book he'd read said that that was the first step and that the magus wanting to turn into an animal form must meditate every night as well to try to form a connection with the animal that represents their soul. He wondered what his was.

"Yeah, sorry," Harry replied to Hermione while giving Ron a nod of greeting back and wondering why he had looked upset for a minute. He shrugged off that concern, used to Ron getting jealous and upset easily, then smiled at them both and headed towards the stairs to the dormitory. "Alright, let's check it out."

Ron and Hermione followed after him. "See, told you he was fine," Ron whispered quietly to Hermione as they moved to catch up.

Hermione shot Ron a look of irritation then smiled at the back of Harry's head as they all started up the tower stairs. "I did a lot of reading in the library this past week and I figured out how we can set up our meetings," she said quietly while they climbed, not wanting to be overheard.

"Protean charm?" Ron asked from behind her while Harry looked back with a smile then entered the boy's dormitory.

"Yes," Hermione replied back excitedly, eager to show them how it worked. She reached into her book bag to pull out a smaller bag. "It was difficult since it's a NEWT level spell, but I got it after practicing a few times!"

Ron rolled his eyes at her excitement over studying while Harry looked on with interest to see what she had come up with. "This!" she exclaimed proudly when she opened up her closed had to show them a handful of Galleons.

"You're going to use Galleons?!" Ron exclaimed, upset at the wealth in her hand and what looked to be more inside of the bag she had clutched in her other had. He reached out to snatch a coin.

"Don't be daft, Ron," Hermione snapped as she kept the coins out of his reach, then carefully selected one to give to Harry which he accepted. "They are fake. You see the identification numbers?"

Harry nodded while he held the coin up to the light with a squint to read the numbers and Hermione continued after giving Ron a coin. "Normally each Galleon has its own identification number. What ours will do is give the date and time of the meetings instead! The coin will also warm up when the numbers change so people know."

"That's brilliant, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed with a grin. "How do we change the numbers?"

"So they aren't real then?" Ron asked almost at the same time with disappointment in his voice.

"No, Ron, they aren't. I actually used muggle chocolate coins which I transfigured into pyrite and… oh, never mind," she said with exasperation at the lost look on his face then turned to Harry and pointed at his coin. "That one is the master coin. Just put your wand tip to it and declare the date and time, and all the other coins will change as well. My coin is also a master coin, and so it Ron's coin. I have only a dozen or so coins made so far, but I should have the rest finished by the next DA meeting where we can pass it out."

Harry grinned at her again then admired the coin. "This is really great, Hermione," he complimented again then pocketed it.

"Best part is, if Umbridge asks us to empty all our pockets, all she'll see is a galleon," Hermione finished proudly, then chewed on her lip nervously. "I got the idea fromyou-know-who," she admitted in a more quiet voice.

"WHAT?!" Ron exclaimed and dropped his coin to the floor.

"It's not like that, Ron," she said quickly. "I mean, you know how he touches one of the tattoos to make everyone else's burn? Only I just used coins."

"I like this idea better anyway," Harry said quickly before another argument could start between the two. "No pain, and we have actual dates."

Hermione gave Harry a thankful look while Ron warily leaned down to get his coin again. "That's right, Ron. It only warms up a little, it doesn't burn you."

Ron's ears flushed red with embarrassment as he stood back up. "You should have said that at first," he grumbled as he shoved the coin into his pocket. "That wouldscare anyone to have a death eater tattoo!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "It's not like I would make death eater tattoos, Ron," she pointed out with exasperation.

Before Ron could open his mouth to retort back to that, Harry spoke up as he headed towards his own bed. "Hey guys, I'm tired," he said before they could really get going. "It's been a long day and I was actually spending my time reading through the DA materials in the room to study for the next meeting."

That caught both of their attentions. Hermione smiled with pleasure while Ron grinned at him. "Is the next class going to have something new?" he asked eagerly.

"I'm glad to hear you're taking the defense studies seriously!" Hermione chimed in with as well. "You will have to work on your potion's assignment this weekend, though. Your mistake was mincing the mandrake root; they should have been sliced."

Ron rolled his eyes while Harry frowned at the reminder. "Yeah, I plan to get that done, Hermione. I'll work on it at night with the rest of my homework, but I plan to spend the days making lesson plans for the DA."

"Do you want help with that?" Hermione hesitatingly asked while chewing on her lip. She wanted to stick by him and support him, but at the same time, she knew that pushing him too hard would make him withdraw worse.

Harry shook his head no, blinked, and then smiled at her. "Nah, but if you can check out the library for the earlier year stuff where we had Lockheart and Quirrel, it might be a good thing to review some of the earlier stuff we missed by having those teachers," he said while congratulating himself on that brilliant idea to keep her out of his hair so he could study on Animagus transformations. "You can also see about getting the Gryffindor team together, Ron," he said with a look at his freckled friend who had been about to say something. "Since I gotta work on all that while doing homework and serving detention with Umbridge, I won't have time to figure out how to get the toad to give us the okay."

Ron grinned and nodded his head. "Yeah, I can talk to everyone in the team and get them together," he agreed. "See if we can ask the captain to see what she wants from us."

Nodding at both of them, Harry then faked a large yawn and sat on his bed. "Since we got that sorted, I'd like to sleep then. Why don't you two play gobstones or something down in the common rooms?"

Ron and Hermione looked at each other and smiled, her worry temporarily eased and him getting to spend time with her. "Alright, mate. Goodnight," Ron agreed and then led Hermione out.

Harry quickly changed into his pajamas then drew his curtains shut. Sleep was a long time coming, though. He barely heard when Ron came in a few hours later to sleep since he was deep in thought about what he had read in William's book.

He could get the Mandrake leaf from where the second years grew them in greenhouse three. From there, he figured he could put them into a small tea bag which he could keep in his mouth for a month; alternately holding it in the roof of his mouth, in his cheek, and under his tongue depending on if he needed to talk or eat.

Meditating every night should be easy too, right? All he had to do was clear his mind, after all…

* * *

 **A/N: This is my first fanfic so please go easy on me. It's also the first time I'm putting a story online =) This story idea comes from TheGirlWithFarTooManyIdea's challenge on her main page. She has several great ideas I chose** ** _Feral_** **. Be forewarned now; this story will get dark, bloody, and, hopefully, very tragic. Not sure if I can write tragic, but I will try =)**

 **Another note to keep in mind, please! I may not be able to reply reviews. There is damage in my eyes that makes reading anything with a white background exceptionally hard (photophobia). I have to read and write with a black/dark grey background. Since I haven't seen how a review layout is yet I don't know if I'll be able to get through them, so please don't think I'm being a stuck up snob if I don't reply to them! I plan to ask some friends to read them for me though if they can ^^ I do appreciate critique/constructive criticism, I don't appreciate flame.**

 **On that note, thank you for reading!**


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